Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Baltimore Drive-by, Part VII: Hell to the editor-in-chief

Nix Kauffman is on the run after robbing crime writers Seamus Blake and Fetch McCarver at gunpoint. Is that any way for a respectable ex-journalist to behave?

(Read all of "The Baltimore Drive-by" so far
here. And remember: This is fiction. Almost none of it really happened.)
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The way he worked the room, I believed Obama might win this thing. He smiled, shook hands, talked with me and my colleagues. He put weak-kneed stargazers at ease, and he even charmed moderate Republicans. In ten minutes, he spent more time talking with the staff than the last five editors-in-chief had in the four years they'd served. He even joked about our old computers.

"Don't worry, senator," I said. "In a few months, none of us will be working at these computers anymore."

Obama laughed. Honoré kept the pasted-on smile that he saved for the staff, but the corner of his left eye twitched, the way it always did when he got angry or lied or had to make a decision.

The next day Honoré called me in for a performance review. That's why I wound up welcoming a pair of crime writers over the Canadian border with a gun to their heads. I had nothing against Blake or McCarver; I enjoyed their work. But I'd lost my union grievance over the firing, and I needed a car, some cash, and a bit of stability in my life.

I'd deal with Honoré later.
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© Peter Rozovsky 2009

11 comments:

Gerard Brennan said...

Oh, hey. A new home for these great wee story pieces. Great stuff. Will keep an eye on this!

And I second Fetch's compliments from the original post.

gb

Peter Rozovsky said...

Thanks. I set this place up to avoid clogging the other blog with great chunks of copy.

The Fetch nickname was a godsend. I'd decided to disguise the real names of characters to avoid suspicion that characters in the newspaper segments are based on my real bosses. They're not so based, believe it or not. Also, imaginary names will force me to, er, use my imagination more.

But losing the McFetridge name deprived me of a gag I wanted to use. Calling the character Fetch may allow me to resuscitate the gag, and also lets me pay tribute to a seminal work of Irish crime fiction, of course.

Gerard Brennan said...

Yeah, I've been reading along, though not always commenting, and realised you'd switched some names about. Bets are you'll still be asked who such-and-such is based on. I wrote a story a long time ago that a few people from my office read. One scene saw a young couple sneak into a storeroom for a little (cough) privacy.

Everybody who read it asked me who I'd been in the storeroom with! And I'd been married for two years by then.

So yeah, stick to office politics, avoid the romances.

gb

Peter Rozovsky said...

Maybe I'll create some romances that never happened.

One option is composite characters. This will let me combine various incidents without multiplying the number of characters beyond reason. It could also give me plausible deniability if anyone accuses me of telling the truth.

Peter Rozovsky said...

Re switching names about, "Fista Krauss" is hardly a subtle disguise for "Christa Faust," is it? The book of hers that I refer to is entirely imaginaru, though.

Gerard Brennan said...

Fista Krauss is Christa Faust? Of course!

Seriously, though. The composite thing is a good idea for keeping the cast under control.

gb

Peter Rozovsky said...

I figure it will impose a bit of discipline, too, make me develop characters instead of just pulling a name out of a hat when i want to write a scene.

You know, writing this way, in short installments, is like writing a comic strip without the strip. Every segment has to end with a small climax or cliffhanger. It's an interesting exercise.

Gerard Brennan said...

Aye, maybe you should name and claim the form. Flash Fiction Micro Series, or something.

gb

Peter Rozovsky said...

Or Stripless Comics ™.

Gerard Brennan said...

Sorted!

gb

Peter Rozovsky said...

Done! Now, all I have to do is write a few hundred more of the things ... and kick the shit out of my computer.